Miss Jackson (If You’re Nasty)

My youngest and last child was born on January 2nd of this year. I am sure there are many of you wondering why I have not released photos of the little princess.

The reason is simple enough. I am waiting for the highest bidder.

So far I have an offer of two coupons for free Egg McMuffins at McDonalds. I really do like Egg McMuffins so this is an attractive offer. Yet I feel like I should hold Tracer Guns for more. I could only dream of a free tank of gas. Although that value has been decreasing over the last couple of weeks.

Yes the pictures of Brad and Angelina’s new twins sold for over 14 dollars. Can you imagine? Perhaps my babies pictures would sell for more if everyone in the world knew my wife and I by our first name. Or perhaps Lindsay and I should combine our names. You know that is a good idea. From now on if you see us walking down the swanky boulevards of Aurora, Indiana you should turn to your friends and say “Hey look, it’s Dansay.” Maybe not.

While I was thinking about writing this article I felt a little disappointed that my child was somehow less important than their children. Then I thought no, no it has nothing to do with the children it is the fact that the twins parents are more important than Lindsay and I. I felt better only momentarily until another realization hit and then I was a little miffed that Lindsay and I were less importa00004000nt than Brad and Angelina.

But that is a little irrational as well. Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and their multiple children are possibly the most famous family on tamiflu canadian pharmacy right now. They make movies we do not. Actually we have some pretty cute home movies but there are not many buyers interested in those either.

I guess the thing is that those home movies and oh yes my children are important to me. I have five amazing children and a beautiful wife. On the day my children were born our families gathered around. On the day that Lindsay and I were married our families gathered around. They took pictures that will remain in scrapbooks long after I am gone. There is value in that.

So valuable that 14 dollars does not even come close to what those pictures and my memories are worth.

I do not mean to be a spoil sport. I am happy for Brad and Angelina. Those kids have amazing parents.

And if truth be told, I may have been a little interested to see what their kids looked like. Alright I might as well tell you. On the day I heard their pictures were released I may have gone online so that I could sneak a peak.

And then I went to read sports things and fix the toilet.

Dan Bimrose is the creator of www.coffeeandprozac.comcoffeeandprozac.com a website devoted to making people think, laugh or cry. Daily www.coffeeandprozac.comOpinions, Editorials, and Stories He suggests dropping bread crumbs so that you can find your way back on a daily basis.

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